Hasbro Pulls Troll Doll Because of a Button in the Doll’s Private Area

This story cuts a little close to home, because my niece loves the Trolls. She has the toys, the coloring books, and the Legos. We regularly have dance parties to the soundtrack. Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick covering “True Colors” is her jam. We’re even going shopping next week for her birthday, where I’m sure one of the things she picks out has to do with Trolls. Had we come home and I discovered this on one of the dolls, my anger would only be matched by the migraine my brain would be getting trying to think of non-curse words to replace the curse words I would want to say if there weren’t kids around.

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Hasbro pulled the doll, but said the button was unintentional. And I quote, “This feature was designed to react when the doll was seated, but we recognize the placement of the sensor may be perceived as inappropriate.” I see. MAY have been perceived to be inappropriate. As opposed to, “we f***ed up and people are getting fired.”

I don’t want to jump right to accusing the toy company of “grooming” or promoting pedophilia. There could have been a reasonable explanation. Like the toy designer was simply a woke leftist twat who thinks we should be teaching kids about sex at an offensively early age. Or someone working the assembly line got stoned on their last day of work, but not before pulling one last prank. Maybe the head of quality control is the CEO’s retarded cousin, and it was that guy’s job to “recognize the placement of the sensor was in an inappropriate place” before the dolls shipped out to kids all across the country. Nepotism, amirite?

I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation. But Hasbro simply saying “whoopsie” is not it.

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